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In a strange way, dick pics have defined this weird, at times beautiful, but mostly horrifying place we call the world wide web. I mean is there any online experience more universal than encountering a penis you never expected nor wanted to see? It's perhaps only surpassed in its pervasiveness by trolling.

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The splendor of the nude image has found its way into your life, you lucky rapscallion, you. There are instructions for what you must do upon receipt of this nude but first, take a moment to be serenely grateful for it. Behold that nude and thank whichever god, idol, or Hadid sibling you worship for selecting you, a humble farmer or social media manager, as the recipient of this delicate erotic gift.

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In the above selfie, we see a tastefully erotic shot from the SexEdMyWay tumblr in which the subject is showing no nudity and her face is not fully visible. And the reasons you too should adhere to these best practices with your naked selfies are fucking terrifying. She did, and there is.

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Frankly, at this point, taking one is pretty pedestrian. Nudes are a digital peace offering in the giant battle that is the horniness and loneliness of human consciousness. Of course, not all nudes are sent or received in such philanthropic terms.

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The Dating Nerd is a shadowy figure whose whereabouts and identifying details remain unknown. What we do know is that he is really, really good at dating. He's been on more dates than you can shake a lengthy bar tab at, and he's here to help the average guy step his dating game up a notch - or several.

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Some men are in the habit of aggressively sending pictures of their junk to people. With politicians and professional athletes landing on Page Six for their enthusiasm for the crotch shot, the dick pic has officially gone mainstream. At first glance, the exhibition appears to be an interesting turning of the tables, exposing the harassment of a few crude guys by sharing their unwelcome advances with the broader world.

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Forget flowers. Forget candlelight. Nothing serious is going to start from sending a dick picture.

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Oh yes, we all laugh at the double entendres in the news that the Amazon founder has accused the National Enquirer 's owner of blackmailing him over compromising selfies. But it's a grim gallows chuckle, because we live in the decade of the dick pic — an age where one man's inability to keep it in his pants, and the technology that enabled him, literally changed the course of history by helping elevate Donald Trump to the White House. That man's name, of course, was Anthony Weiner. The disgraced former congressman was not the first man to ever text a picture of his penis; we don't know who that was, but it probably happened about five seconds after the first camera-enabled cellphone went on sale in Japan in

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It seems like a new celebrity sexting scandal pops up once a month or so, with racy photos being leaked all over the Internet. The result is much the same: we raise our eyebrows and return to our game of Peggle, or perhaps, some curious pervs will have a peek at the photos or video. As a society, we seem to shrug off these unfortunate celebrity nude scandals as something crazy or self-indulgent happening in Hollywood.

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Be sure to share with your friends so they can joy the big, small and oh my goodness of it all. Good Gawd why did Usher think this was a good idea. This has to be the worst penis pic to hit the internet. Like — What.

Comments

  • Byron 27 days ago

    I agree. She looks rather bored to be honest.

  • Brayan 29 days ago

    I know this should be hot, but the title makes me feel too old and sad to have a boner. imgsrc love the young

  • Rashad 6 days ago

    Subelo completo!